Blended Family Chaos

by Tamara Flaherty

Sharing the Bottle

I have a burning desire to write, yet I rarely pick up a pen or a keyboard. When I do, it’s usually because I am in the midst of an emotionally challenging time, and if I don’t write something I will explode. What spills out of my keyboard or off of my pen during these times is usually very narrow in its ability to truly reflect all the facets of who I am, but very accurate in describing my current circumstances and emotions.

Writing for me is almost painfully impossible, not because I have nothing to say, but because I have entirely too much to say and I cant figure out where to start. Even when I know exactly where to start, I stop myself, because I am intellectually and emotionally unable to sugarcoat my own reality, and my unvarnished story may cause pain to the  central or peripheral characters in my present or past.

So I sit. Stories remain untold, secrets stay buried, memories die, lessons go unlearned, until I make these fingers move.

I am changing my previous course! I have committed myself to writing. I will write, not just during or about the difficult times in my life, but everyday. I will write about all the things that matter to me. Family, politics, life and love. The easy stuff and the hard stuff alike.

This blog is titled Blended Family Chaos for several reasons. The first reason is that, in my experience, all families are chaotic to some degree. The degree of chaos varies from one family to the next and some are better at hiding their own particular brand of chaos than others. Our families, whether our family of origin, or the families we choose, ultimately shape the people we are and determine how we view, engage in, and respond to life and all it’s challenges.
Blended is in the title because the  last decade of my life has been spent trying to blend two families that haven’t blended well, resulting in some interesting, hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking drama. We are like oil and water. You can put oil and water together in the same bottle but they refuse to blend. If you shake things up a little they appear to blend for just a  moment but sure enough, they will very quickly separate back into two distinct layers. Its not that oil and water don’t “want” to blend, its that they just can’t!
Water and oil have no natural affinity for each other and cannot blend no matter how long or how often they share a bottle.
The challenge then is to figure out how to peacefully share the “bottle”.

4 comments on “Sharing the Bottle

  1. Deanna Temple
    March 6, 2014

    Being a step mom is the hardest role I have had in my life.

    Loved the writing in this post. Very transparent. Good for you to challenge yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Blended Family Chaos
      March 6, 2014

      This is one of the best quotes that I have found on the subject.

      “There is this double standard by which we suspect stepmothers of being wicked and selfish, yet expect them to be utterly selfless and loving to kids who are not their own, kids who are often hostile and rejecting for many years in spite of a stepmother’s best efforts and intentions.” ~Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster

      Like

  2. Sandra Miller
    March 5, 2014

    Love you way with words!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sandra Miller
    February 22, 2014

    I guess as long as the bottle doesn’t explode something can be worked out. At least the bottle holds everyone!! Look up, it can only get easier. (I think)

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on March 5, 2014 by in My Personal Journey, The Stepmom Perspective and tagged , , , , .
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